"Into the peace of these wild things, Into the wild of this grace, Into the grace of this blessing, Speak in the peace of this place"
Those things just about sum it all up. I am tempted to leave it at that actually. But I won't... I think I could describe our current state of affairs as the "all day sickness" of pregnancy. You know, the kind that leaves you unable to be productive with anything during your day as you are constantly aware of the feeling that you are going to toss your cookies at any time? Unfortunately I got to experience that with my first pregnancy, and now we are getting it with the adoption.
It all started a month ago. We got the call we would need to change our home study agency. There was a little panic, fear, we were going to loss a chunk of the work we had already done, but we really had no choice. We were the gracious recipients of a kind soul doing some research and phone calls on our behalf and they set us up with the new agency and we were praising the Lord for his kindness and provision. The new agency was happy to take some of our old paperwork, but not all... When we got the new reference outlines, we were slightly scared about dealing with this new agency. They didn't seem as laid back or "friendly" in their paperwork, as if paperwork can be "friendly," but we had made the judgement all the same.. and were kind of "scared" to work with them, but we had no choice but to carry on and trust... choose joy... choose joy....hope for the best... trust...
Then we get the next call, our tax documents were having an issue. (okay, the actual tax document cannot have a problem, but you get the point.) We were planning to submit, for the purpose of this letter we will refer to it as "form a," but they really needed, for the purpose of this conversation, "form b." Again, you are probably thinking, so what, supply form b and don't worry about it. Well, in short, we couldn't. Form B would indicate that we actually don't make enough money to adopt from China...and after already getting a net worth exemption granted, we certainly wouldn't be getting an income exemption made... choose joy... choose joy... Trusting...
We were officially in a pickle. I went to meet with this new home study agency which seemed really stern and nit picky by their paperwork, to see what we could do. After 2 minutes with our social worker, I realized how completely wrong I was to judge the social worker or the agency by the paperwork they gave us. Choi, our social worker, couldn't have been more welcoming and accommodating. She understood our problem, and immediately called in their owner/business manager to see how they could help us. They agreed to verify our income using form A. This was great news...now we only needed China to accept form A too... trusting in the Lord for this whole thing to not fall apart before our very eyes...
Our Adoption Agency writes to China asking for the exemption on the tax document, China doesn't give us an answer, but happily asks for our last 5 years with of income tax history.... insert a really sarcastic "good times" expression here. After 4 moves in 5 years, I was really looking forward to that dig... trusting.. hoping.. and now crying out to the Lord to provide yet another miracle...
And what do you know, the God that started this work in us, has seen it through yet another miraculous hurdle to bring it through to completion.. and China approved yet another exemption for us! We are still able to pursue David. We are thrilled, but definitely feeling weary. We knew the whole time the Lord had directed the path, and he would continue to direct the path, but we still wanted to "see" the end prior to him bringing us there. I am still seeking control in a circumstance I have no control over. I suppose this is going to be the lesson of this journey. Letting go and learning to enjoy the ride...
So, it would only be fitting for another major curve ball as the above wasn't enough of a lesson...
We are currently renting. The house we are renting was set to "close" and our landlord would change. The house we are renting is selling in a "short sale." Well, the house didn't close, the sale didn't go through, there is an unknown lien on the property that cannot be found, and will prevent the house from closing for an indefinite amount of time, the buyer for the house (our potential future landlord) is getting ready to walk, and the bank is getting ready to foreclose. We now have a pickle of a circumstance.
For those of you that don't know that much about adopting. We have to have a home study done and actually get approval on the physical home we are living in. This physical home approval will be submitted to immigration along with lots of other information for us to be granted permission to travel to China to bring home a child. If we move after our home study is complete (which it is near complete) we will have to have an update issued (expensive) for the home study, and reapply to immigration with the updated information, drastically delaying this whole process and increasing the cost. (I will pause for a breath)
So, we now have to make a decision to stay and hope for the best, or move before it gets even stickier... and if we are moving we have to move...like...yesterday...
I have been reminded of the peace the Lord provides a midst the storm surrounding us. This unexplained magical peace. We have been recipients of it before, and I believe we are experiencing the magical grace today. I can say I am not bound up with fear and worry, but more just an overwhelming feeling of being tired. I don't know what I am tired of, I just know I am tired. We laid in bed last night chuckling about the potential for yet another move...all the while knowing we cannot control one bit of it, and we just need to trust that the Lord knows what he is doing, and if a move is required. know it is for the best.. Please pray with us. This has been quite a journey, and it has only just begun. The need for more magical peace is ever-present and ever necessary.
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