The past 2 weeks have not been without many many opportunities for massive freak out. I was inspired by some song lyrics that really gripped my soul in a beautiful anthem song kind of way.
"We went dancing in the mine fields, we went sailing in the storms, this was harder than we dreamed it be, but so much better than before."
That my friends, is life. What beautiful imagery, and what a true statement. Life is never how we plan, thank goodness....it is always better.. And now we will enter the mine field of the last 2 weeks.
I enjoy planning, knowing I have what I need to progress or proceed to the next step in any process, having a good handle on what is expected of me, and following through. And, here we are going to insert a huge diabolical laugh, as that would be the exact opposite of how the last 2 weeks have happened.
It all started on April fools day, yes, that is right, I did say April fool's day, but these were no jokes. We received a call from our homestudy agency, very confused. They still had down on our administrative paperwork that we were adopting from the Ukraine, and received our Agency contact information for Great Wall, and panicked that we might be adopting from China. I say "panicked" as they are not licensed to be able to complete a Chinese homestudy...and would not be able to complete the process we had already started. We simply fell through their administrative cracks.
My jaw dropped, I honestly almost had a nervous break down right then and there on the phone. I contacted Great Wall to see if there was anything we could do to "salvage" what had already been done, and they basically confirmed, we would be starting all over with a new agency. Awesome. Insert emotional break down here, and tears there.
We have literally been working on our homestudy since Feb. That is 2 whole months that would now be down the drain as far as our timeline is concerned. I was too upset to even process what could be done at the time. We opted to just leave the problem until the next day and pray that the Lord would work it out.
The Lord answered prayers in a big way. Wednesday morning, I had an email in my inbox from Greatwall, who had contacted our old homestudy agency, and they had called around to other agencies in south jersey that could do our homestudy. They found the "cheapest" one, called them on my behalf, explained the circumstance, and the new homestudy Agency, Golden Cradle, was basically waiting for my phone call when I called them later that day. Thank you Jesus. Golden Cradle agreed to take all the other agency's paperwork (minus one form,) and could work with us to complete the last steps. What an answer to prayer, the agencies had "worked it out" for us. Emergency kind of averted...for a day or two anyway...
So, things were looking calm for a couple days, so naturally it was time to shake things up some more. Next lovely surprise comes when we are trying to verify our income with the social worker. We were told we could use one tax form, and the homestudy agency had on their "regulations" we needed to provide a different form. The form they needed, we couldn't provide b/c it would demonstrate that we didn't meet income minimum either....when our whole exemption from China back in Feb. was based on our income from the tax form we thought we could us....
Jesus was in this whole crazy stressful circumstance. Our homestudy Agency getting switched was turning out to be a beautiful thing. The owner of the new agency was completely understanding of our predicament, and was more than happy to help us try to come up with a solution to the "problem." He understood how tax reporting when you own your own business gets a little tricky, and was more than happy to make an exception for us. The best part was is the new agency is literally 7 miles from our house, so we didn't need to drive an hour and 1/2 to meet with them and talk this through, we drove 10 minutes. Both our social worker and the owner couldn't have possibly been any nicer or more accommodating. So, our first meeting with them was a huge inspiration and blessing for the whole homestudy debacle that had just taken place.
Golden Cradle happily agreed to use the form we had, but needed clearance from Great Wall to make sure China would accept that form. And here is where the fun really starts. I will keep it short, but we basically went through many emails and phone calls, trying to figure out if all this was going to fall apart as our reported "income" to china from last year was based on the tax document we wanted to use, not the tax document china normally requires, and our whole exemption was based on our income. We could go into the base of the misunderstanding, but at the end of the day it was both Greatwall's fault and our own, and placing blame wasn't going to solve the problem. The bottom line was, if we had to submit the usual tax document, our income wouldn't be high enough to be granted the exemption and David would be left in China.
More waiting, praying, and searching like mad for our last 5 years of tax documents to report, well you know, our entire life/financial history to china... and then some more waiting...
The financial paperwork and entire circumstance was hard, and a testing of our faith. David's ability to come home hung in the balance of the new forms getting submitted and approved. We were literally back to square one like we were in January with the whole approval process with China, except now we had the face of a little boy on our hearts that was at the other end of this decision. Typically, I would have been a mess. Searching for something practical we could do, a way to avoid the trial, and this time, I just "took it, Straight on," with Jesus. We were in the poetic way "sailing in the storm."
Sure, I cried a little, needed sometime to gather my thoughts, and set out a plan to get everything the CCWA (the Chinese adoption board) needed back to them ASAP, but I knew the Lord was with us. I knew that if this was going to go through a second time, with even grimer paperwork it was really going to be the Lord.
The Lord was also gracious in providing a wonderful work distraction from Noah's school. I was super busy planning a fundraiser for them, I literally didn't have any extra time to sit around and think through the worst case scenarios and tunnel into a black hole, or try to "fix" anything practically. I had to keep moving, and hoping and praying that the Lord would yet again part the seas for this adoption to go through. All the Credit would be going to Jesus and not a creative solution to the problem.
Jonathan and I sat in the kitchen 2 nights ago talking about how it would just be so odd that the Lord would bring us this far, and then have us "let go" of David. For one of the first times faced with a large trial, I had a sense of peace, that same peace I never could understood, that Jonathan would testify to. I had a calmness that I really cannot explain. I knew David was meant to be, he was going to come home because of, and only because of the Lord. God had paved the way, allowed his voice to be heard to start the process with David, and he would be faithful to complete it. I spent just a couple minutes entertaining what it would be like if we had to let go, and then I emotionally moved on, I just didn't think that was going to happen, I felt so strong in my hearing of the Lord a couple weeks ago that the Lord was sustaining me on that wave, and I was not being overcome by the storm.
We got a wonderful email yesterday, that confirmed our track. China yet again approved our new "grimmer" financial status and is allowing us to proceed! So, Jesus yet again worked us over another hurdle in a miraculous way, to yet again confirm this is what he has for us, and David is still coming home. Is anyone getting tired of reading about this miraculous journey?? I feel as though I am getting repetitive with testifying to the Lord continuously showing up, and guiding our path, but it is true, and it has been inspiring to my soul. God has never been more real or tangible in my life, and that my friends is really really a neat thing. I feel like I am getting to experience what I have heard other's talk about, or sing about, and it is awe inspiring, and I am so immensely thankful for his real and true and very visible presence right now. We really do serve a living and breathing God, who is gracious, and all sufficient. It is giving us the confirmation was need, it truly is a gift, and we write about it so we will have something to look back and read when we don't "feel" his presence in this same way, and we wonder if we have been abandoned. After all, I am know for my extremes.
All of that aside, I enter a superficial, fleshly commentary... I honestly think I have aged 5 years in these short couple months.. I will most definitely be grey by the time we board the plane to go to China, but I cannot imagine a better way to sacrifice my vanity. :)
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